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News for January 23, 2022

Alberta Campground Porta Potty Stolen

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The porta-potty at the Foothills Lions Campground (Alberta) was proved to be too portable after they were found missing.

The portable toilet was put up for public use as the Lions put together a skating rink and a lighting display at the campground.

“Over here at the campground, we’ve got all these fire pits, we’ve got the rink we’re making, but you know what’s missing? Our porta-potty” said Lions member and Turner Valley Mayor Barry Crane in a Facebook Live video posted on Sunday, December 12. He believed it was stolen.

“Now, I don’t get that. If you’ve gotta go, there’s corner stores, there’s gas stations, you go to Timmys—you don’t need to take the whole potty,”

“That might’ve been a bad weekend, but I’ve never had a weekend bad enough I needed to take a whole porta-potty home with me. Besides, it’s not even heated. Really.”

In an interview, Crane remained incredulous at the possibility that someone could steal the portable toilet, which the Foothills Lions had since 2013, and was taken out of storage to be used for the skating rink.

“Who steals a porta-potty?” Crane asked. “To steal a porta-potty requires a whole other level of strangeness.

“They literally had to come into our campground, which is normally locked, but we opened for the public, and they had to put it on a truck and drive away with it.”

Crane stated that volunteers had checked the surrounding area and along the riverbank to ensure the toilet wasn’t hitching an excursion on the powerful winds that night before.

Crane said that the Black Diamond and Turner Valley-area service club plan to submit a police complaint.

“We’re going to ask the RCMP to engage the Capture Program, which is set up with Turner Valley and Black Diamond,” he said.

The Capture Program is an initiative that draws upon the contributions of security camera footage of residents and businesses to assist police in fighting criminality in the area.

“We’re going to see if we can’t find a vehicle with a grey porta-potty with the word “Pit Stop” on the side,” Crane said.

“Our hope is that the Capture Program will actually come through with us for the license plate and vehicle description, and the RCMP can follow up on it.”

A fellow Lion James Lee voiced his displeasure.

“We put this whole thing on, and everyone knows we’ve done this for our community,” Lee said. “And when you’re getting this kind of thing happening, it sure sends a sour message to us.”

In his Facebook video on Sunday, Crane implored the porta-potty pirates to return their toilet.

“Why don’t you bring that porta-potty back because I guarantee we’re going to press charges if we find you,” he said.

Anyone who has any information or surveillance-related footage on the missing portable toilet may contact Turner Valley RCMP at 403-933-6600.

Beyond the legal consequences, he also threatened to draw from his collection of Newfoundlander humor.

“If we find you, it’s gonna be hilarious, there are going to be a lot of jokes, maybe I’ll do a daily Facebook post just for you, the porta-potty thief of the Lions Campground rink project,” he ended.

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Modern Campground

Modern Campground

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